Single With Purpose

Embracing Singleness as a Calling, Not a Condition

In the church there is often flimsy theology of singleness and how purposeful it can be. Every chance I get I speak of this, regardless of how people have come to be single or of the many who wish to not be—God sees it as a good thing and doesn’t want His people to miss what He might do through singleness. It’s on purpose. For HIS purpose.

Living Fully as a Single

It means I have a wider breadth of relationships I can pursue and make space for in my life because I don’t have a spouse or my own biological children to care for. It has also meant I get to be more dependent on others, requiring the help of others to make my life and community. This means being transparent in my prayers, being honest when there is lament for what is not present in my life and letting Jesus hold that with me. Grief is part of this life for each of us, and I feel it with each change of friendship. I lean on friendships heavily for support and when a friend starts a new relationship, a wedding takes place, or a new baby arrives, I know that this friendship shifts. Their main focus becomes someone else (as it should be), and I may remain in their life but not in a primary role. I often have to find different places to get the support and care I need that I previously found in those friendships. Church as family means we are brothers and sisters in Christ. This reframes what family looks like, it’s not limited to a nuclear family but instead it’s a spiritual family that each of us in Christ belong to. I need my brothers and sisters in Christ in a different way as a single person, it is these very friendships that can fill my life with the intimacy of being known and knowing others deeply.

Finding Belonging in the Body of Christ

In Matthew 19:12 Jesus talks about different eunuchs, which can be a picture of those who are single as a result of different circumstances. He reminds us that being single is for the sake of the kingdom of heaven, and He calls us to accept singleness. Jesus understands being, and did all his ministry as, a single person, and He calls us to a new family that remains after our short time on earth (Matthew 22:23, 28-33). Let your eyes and heart be open to let God satisfy you and grow you in intimacy with Him; He is what lasts.

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